rawritzlanix3

i am crushed, crying in pain. i am leaving in a couple days with nothing but a trail of sorrow. i was so blinded, a mask of happiness shield my face, but under was so much built up anger and undeniable sadness with fake emotions. i really am happy sometimes, which was in the least bit of my soul, but i was always sad. laughing is just a trait that will not leave me, but no matter what, i was always living an abysmal life. i shouldn’t be so concerned in this bullshit because basically, i am still a child. i breath being a young one. although my appearance may fool you, i am just a child living in the mere body of a older teen. i grow up everyday, but by night, i inch more into a pool of immatureness. and what hurts the most is, i’m not even allowed to tell him what the fuck is up. he’s clueless, and she regrets telling me everything. he lied, she went through so much drama and had to see cousenlors to get through school and stay on track. all because of him. but he has no idea whats going on, as i am told from his own personal words. she’s basically avoiding contact from our side of the family. and she has the choice to stay away, and he can’t do anything about it. because she’s already old enough to make those decisions. i hope he’ll find out soon and stop living his life as a lie. because this is horrible enough with myself here.